Saturday, November 30, 2013

No longer filled with God, we are filled...with fear

It is appropriate that Sundays bring rain
A chilly gray mist loosed by hovering clouds
Releases a mandated rest
Saturdays are for passion and fluff, arrogance and I
But Sundays bring the rain, a kind rain
The cold droplets kiss our skin
Sink through and water our soul
Rain is a chance for God to remind us He’s still here
We do not look for him on Saturdays
But He hugs us close on Sundays, slipping off the leaves
Clasping the earth, silently springing forth from the ground
“It’s ok,” the rain speaks. “It’s ok;
My tears heal and wash away.”
A cool cleansing Sunday rain falls upon the earth
It comforts my soul as the pain washes away.

            That is the full reality of the Great Story.
            We cannot see him anymore as Father without seeing him also as God.
            Perhaps for a time our filler dulled the pain. But the pain will return. It is who we are.

            Marx’s comments were incredibly accurate, “Religion is simply the opiate for the masses.” It can be, yes, even Christianity, especially Christianity! Because the drug always wears off. The relationship simmers and becomes difficult. The ambition slows and I realize I have been wasting my life chasing money that will never be enough. I sin again in whatever particular vice grips me and I realize that no matter how hard I try I will never overcome this. I serve the poor but people only get poorer and I grow despondent with the earth and bitter toward the rich.

            You may rightly ask, well then are you against Christianity?
            If it is all the action of God, then is Christianity a fool’s religion?
            I answer—I am dead with Jesus…and therefore I live with him too.

            Christianity is a religion. But Jesus, the Great Story is an entirely different thing. If one be a disciple of Jesus, rather than an adherent to Christianity, the wintry regulations have been fulfilled in the springtime of fellowship. Jesus, not the historical figure, but the risen and living Son of God, transforms us.

            Like the difference between a picture of a hillside and actually standing upon the hill is believing Christianity compared to dying and rising with Jesus. The picture demonstrates the deep green of the grass, the yellow of the sun and attempts to convey a gentle breeze beneath a blue sky by slanting certain shrubs in a tugged direction. But the picture is nothing when standing upon the hillside. To see the emerald grass sway in the wind like knights of the noblest chivalry, feel the warmth of the sunlight kiss your cheek, the dancing clouds in the royal blue sky and the butterflies flutter in whimsical fashion, smelling the lushness of the earth, getting lost in this glory, this is a disciple of Jesus.

The picture tells you that you are alive and you have to squint to believe it.
            Standing on the hill says nothing, and your soul leaps with songs of praise.

            Christianity deadens, Jesus resurrects. But when Jesus resurrects, then one can be a part of Christianity in the right way, and to be a part of Christianity in the right way is to be in his Spirit-infused Church. When men and women are brought back to life, they concern themselves not with the divisive absurdities which hindered them before; wealth, race, religion, disagreements over sights not yet seen. For the miracle of life places each person squarely and evenly upon the same level ground. And that ground just so happens to be beneath a bloodied cross under a gray sky with a cave absent its boulder in the barren background.

Jesus acknowledged the black reality, but he would not accept it.

            Someone in the Great Story sung into our soul’s bottomless cavern and it moved, even though we were supposed to be in control. It started jumping and betrayed our self-pity and despair. It started tingling and whispering to us, ‘Yes, I know that voice. I know the One speaking. He is my Maker!’

            And then something even more miraculous happened.

            But we cannot jump there yet. For we cannot appreciate light unless we understand how absolute darkness is. And we are all naked in the darkness. Thoroughly and completely naked, we stumble in the darkness together.

            And as this chapter ends, the tender mercy of this God our Father, and the Great Story’s Author, is seen sewing garments of skin for his beloved children. Intensely stitching through clouded eyes of falling tears, he weeps for his children who now feel the constricting and visceral reality of the war. And clothing their nakedness, he withdraws himself from the earth cursing the ground that Adam would have to toil for the next unspoken amount of time. Our Father could not curse us, his love was too great. So he cursed his earth and withdrew his presence.

            The mountains watch as Light pulls itself from their slopes. The animals moan as their Maker waves goodbye but promises to return. We, the humans, full of shame at our nakedness, cannot even look at him. And with backs to his tears we make our way into the dark paradise, the newly barbaric earth. Our Father weeps, for love makes him withdraw lest he destroy us in his perfect righteousness.

            This was not how it was to have been. But we have chosen…we have chosen. And as Light hides himself from our notice, as Sin slowly creeps into our souls like a toxic virus spreading and our virginity seems a distant, long-abandoned dream, a sheet of pure blackness stretches over the surface of the earth like a dead finger. The green trees shudder, the waters stop laughing, the animals become angry, an icy and heartless wind fills our lungs.
 
            And for the very first time, no longer with God, we are filled…with fear.

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