The Road called Surrender

            For those who take the leap into the adventurous Great Story by dying, our lives on this side of the mountain are spent on a road called surrender. If Sin made our heart like concrete, then the road of surrender is allowing Jesus to chip off the concrete and give us his bleeding and warm flesh in its stead. And his flesh brings me to life. When I walk to the land unknown following a voice who came to me when I had not asked; when I grow in Christ whatever that means, it is by walking the road of surrender.

It is by dying to what I think or know or believe, even what I believe about God.

I must die to that too.

I become no more. He becomes everything. He becomes life.

For in the new world order, in the Kingdom of God, Life is only the Father.

Therefore as I walk from one kingdom to another, he strips me of myself—my ambitions, my joys and fears, my common sense—and he replaces my dead and stony heart (which I did not realize was dead) with his living one, his love, his faith.

And wonder of all wonders, the oneness with God slowly, gradually, begins to seep through my body; soul first, and works its way outward into my heart, my eyes, my mind, my hands, until the two have become one through the unifying work of his Spirit. And at that point, fully, incredibly, my soul and mind now unified, they are consumed with the overpowering desire—to live is Christ, to die is gain.

Here’s my deepest joy o God, in your hands I place it now

I’d rather mourn all my days, it’s nothing, You I’ve found.
Here, my deepest fears o God, at your feet I lay them bare
And you alone shall be my strength, your courage we shall share.
Here are all my gifts Father, the ones you gave to me,
For I know not how to use them well, so nail them ‘pon your tree
Here is my will to live o God, now hoist me on my cross
And gazing out with closing eyes, I trust not all is lost
Here is my final death o Lord, I die right next to you
And once I fade, then comes the day, of oneness, no more two

This is the logic of the Author of the Great Story. It is the logic that feels illogical to us and to the rest of the human race. It is the logic which made Paul say, the wisdom of the cross is foolishness to the world.

But that is the issue. Our logic is actually misdirected, distorted. It is Death’s logic which is really no logic at all. We are like the insane who think ourselves to be solving the world’s greatest paradox until gazing down at our paper in a moment of enlightenment we find just squiggles and shapes. But the insane do not know they are insane. That is the point. So God must reveal that to us, reveal that we are being deceived. In God’s logic, you do not know him better by moving forward, by claiming the power structures of our diseased world order.

Whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant…

            Whoever wants to live…must die.

If you read this Great Story, you see that this is the case with every single character in the book. Abram was called to die and go to a new land that God would supposedly show him. The disciples were given an abrupt invitation by a carpenter’s son to leave their nets and follow him. Moses spent forty years herding sheep before God spoke to him in a bush. David was hunted by Saul and roamed the wilderness even after he was told he would be king. John the Baptist grew up in the desert and spent his remaining days in prison doubting whether he had spoken truth or misled his people. Joseph, after receiving the dreams that he would rule, was sold into slavery and sat in prison for years. Even Jesus, God’s uncreated son, after being baptized and having the Spirit descend on him like a dove was sent immediately into the desert for forty days of fasting and tempting by Satan.

            For some reason, God takes his remnant down, destroying their soul, before he lifts them up. While down, these characters wrestle in doubt, pain, confusion, physical and spiritual agony, desperately attempting to hold onto faith that the God who called them is good. Notice that these characters did not pray a prayer of salvation and life became magically better. No, it seems like every day, every step they were dying all over again. Each moment appears to be a prayer for salvation.

But they never stop praying.

Life is one massive prayer for them.

And they never walk away.

Something makes them pray constantly.

If you wish to be part of this family you must walk the road of surrender for that is the only way our Father can teach us that what we thought we understood—how to live life truly—we do not. He must be the center of it all; not as some sadistic punishment, but because that is the only way we were created to live. Jesus had not sinned and yet even he had to walk the road so that his faith could be refined and absolutely unflinching, so that Faith would be Life.

            The road of surrender is not in order to loosen God’s mouth. Rather, it is for us. It is so we may learn that he has always been speaking. It is to take us deeper into him, that he may plant his illuminating Kingdom deeper in us.