Jesus is so confusing...but I cannot turn away

           Do you want to know why I believe that Jesus is the Son of God? Because nothing ever makes sense in his story. And everyone associated with him is always perplexed as well. If we can learn anything from the four gospels of Jesus’ life, it is that no one understood what he was doing.

Let us examine the facts. Jesus waits until he is thirty to begin his public ministry. No human would have done that—especially if that human knows the truth of the universe…especially if that human is named‘Truth’. Jesus works according to a different timetable.

He then is baptized by John. John is confused for he asks him, “Why am I baptizing you? You should baptize me.” The ‘voice of one calling in the desert,’ sent before the Son of God does not understand what God is doing. Of course not. For the Author has always been wondrously confusing.

But Jesus responds in love, “It is good for it to be this way right now.”

My interpretation of what Jesus is saying, “John, my brother, you do not understand the Story completely just yet, but do not question my Father’s love. You understand that. My Father and I have bound ourselves to you, our creation. We are working a plan you know nothing about…but you will. Trust me my brother. Our Father’s love will win. Do what he has told you to do. It’s ok if you don’t understand it all. It’s ok if you feel like you don’t know him as well as you would like. It is better that he knows you. And he does know you. He knows you very well.” 

            Then there are his disciples. Every narrative in the gospels seem to demonstrate two things: Jesus is unpredictable and his disciples never can grasp what he is doing or what he is teaching or why he chooses to act the way he does. But they put up with him and his mysterious ways. Because for some reason, they cannot turn away. There is something about him which makes their childlike soul stir. And nothing else in their lives had ever come remotely close to touching the bottomless cavern of their souls the way this guy could.

One of my favorite things about the gospels is the dialogue. Jesus will be asked a question, but his answer generally has nothing to do with what he was asked. It is as if someone comes to him with an issue or a request or just a general topic for discussion, and he responds, “Ok I hear what you’re asking, but that’s not really what you mean. I can see exactly what you’re trying to articulate, though you don’t even see it yet. So here is the answer for that day when you finally recognize precisely what it is you are trying to voice…And then it’ll become clear to you.”

Who is this guy—unless he is not just a guy, but also God?

People come to him and filled with compassion, he heals them. He heals because he has power. He heals because they have faith. He speaks and the crippled walk. People touch him and bleeding stops. He initiates healings on the Sabbath. That angers the Pharisees because you are not supposed to work on the Sabbath. The Messiah should have known that! (If he is the Messiah.)

He eats with the hated and ostracized, the unclean and the rich and nothing about that seems to upset his divine poise. He is perfectly at home with prostitutes or Pharisees and his message is the same.

He knows who he is. And being around any type of person does not sway him in the slightest. He is no reed in the wind. He knows who made the wind. He did. His identity is secure. He prays early in the morning; he and the Father are one. Parables are how he teaches, never the unadulterated truth. And even more mysterious are his explanations to his disciples, the bickering, weak-minded fools.

But he loves them. He loves them so dearly.

People suddenly understand and confess him as Lord. But he shushes them silent. ‘Do not tell. For my hour has not yet come.’ What hour? What is he talking about?

He walks on water like it is a game. He grows indignant when children are forbidden to approach him. He curses fig trees and drives out moneylenders. He draws in the sand and an obsessed mob is undone. He washes his friends’ feet and their mouths are agape in wonder.

‘Lamps don’t go under beds…Ask the Father and do not doubt, and it shall be yours…You give them something to eat…The widow has given more with two coins then the richest riches of the wealthy…Before Abraham was, I AM…Don’t pray like the Pharisees; pray like the tax collectors. For they utter the broken words of the soul which my Father longs to hear and bless.’

            Who is this Jesus?

The presumption, the arrogance, the child-like humility to speak about things no one else can see, to live in a way no else understands; but when all is fulfilled, each will realize like rushing, cold waters, he who has ears to hear. For a man to say and do these things is insanity of the sort never before and never since experienced. But most of the world for the past two thousand years does not think him insane.

He defies all powers and renders them utterly exposed and vulnerable. But then he does not advance. Amazingly, though it is his for the taking, he does not want power.

There is a genuineness which comes out when we read his words, even if they are something blasphemous, like saying he is the Son of God. That is an absurd claim! But we do not think him absurd when he makes it. We kind of believe him. Why? Probably for the same reason that when God called Abram with those stupid words, we feel stupid for not believing him sooner.

Every time I finish reading the gospel stories, the only thing I am definitively able to conclude: Jesus is infuriating, he confuses me and I have absolutely no idea what to make of him. But I am so attracted to him. He draws my soul in…because he speaks as one who has authority.

            You can never guess what Jesus is about to do when you read the stories of his life. There is always this secretive element in his life, this unexplainable path he is walking, that no one else knows anything about. But we are all following him because he is so fascinating. And though we are always confounded by what he says or how he acts, his word to us in the gospels appears to invoke the same idea with each one of us.

“My Father is writing a Great Story that you know nothing about. That’s why I am here. But do not fear. It is for you that I have come. It is because of my Father’s love that he sent me. So do what you have seen me do and trust that my Father will do the rest. Live so as not to earn his love but because you know that he loves you already. Love your neighbor intensely, even if they be an enemy, for that satisfies the entire will of God. Trust your life to your Father who cares for your soul deeper than you can care for it. Don’t get hung up trying to understand all the details of his Great Story when he hasn’t given you all the details. He hasn’t given me all the details. No one knows the day I shall return, only the Father. But trust that I will return. Have faith that I am doing something you know nothing about, but it is for your good, for the restoration of our joy, the reuniting of our family. Until then, focus on what he has given you. Focus on me and be content there alone.”